Rhymes With Shovel

Writer's strike: First step to U.S. decline

2008-01-13T13:51:00.000-08:00

The writer's strike is a big sign of bad things to come for the United States. What started out as a small strike is now becoming the cause of loss of millions of dollars in our country's exports.

And forget it if you're in the industry. Los Angeles alone loses millions of dollars a day because of it.

I hope it ends soon.

My baby Jessica goes Country

2008-01-05T03:02:00.000-08:00

My baby celebobsession, Jessica Simpson, says that she's going to put a twang in her speech. She's going country superstar to revive her singing career. I personally think Newlyweds 2 is what she should be doing.

You Must Watch This Trailer

2007-12-19T20:37:00.000-08:00

http://thedarkknight.warnerbros.com/videopage.html

That is all.

Ingrid Newkirk is my heroine

2007-12-09T14:18:00.000-08:00

Not heroin, the drug, but heroine, the female version of a hero. Got it? Ok good.

I just finished watching her documentary currently airing on HBO and it's absolutely thrilling. (View Trailer).

I think the song Super Woman can easily be dedicated to her. Notably, Ingrid started campaigning for animal rights at a very young age. She is the head of P.E.T.A. (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) and a very controversial figure because her tactics aren't exactly kosher.

But as Bill Maher puts it eloquently in the documentary, "many people are worried about crossing the line, I'm more worried about those people that don't even approach the line."

I have many friends who are vegetarian and vegan that oppose PETA's methods. From showing videos of slaughterhouses in front of barbecue restaurants to throwing red paint on fur coats to give the public an up close look at how the products they consume got to them. It's like an exercise in increasing knowledge, but people don't seem to take well to it. Primarily because it seems a bit edgy, a bit graphic, and a little over the top (referring to the campaigns involving nudity).

But I ask you, reader, how is an animal; a dog, cat, monkey, turkey, chicken, cow, or pig going to be able to help itself against massive organized torture and slaughter? To begin with, all of these animals are five-sensed beings just like any human. They feel the same amount of pain as you and I when undergoing pain. A skinned sheep that is left bloodied, however, won't be able to report the abuse to the local authorities. There have to be measures taken in order for a voice to be created for the helpless.

All that Ingrid does along with the rest of PETA is be the voice of the voiceless. If you have HBO try to watch the documentary, it is eye-opening and is reported in a very objective manner so that you can make up your mind as to how you feel about PETA.

Is LOST gone?

2007-11-19T19:15:00.000-08:00

With the writer's strike on, I don't really care about the fate of many television series. Sure it'll hurt me if Vinny Chase and the boys aren't back in town earning millions and spending like idiots. Sure, I'll also miss a couple of lame laughs at the expense of Larry David's bald thick head getting into silly antics.

But what I'll truly miss and have nightmares about is not knowing LOST's ending. Damon Lindelof, the show runner on the hit television show that has me begging for more, is upset with the producers. They want to run the 8 completed episodes of the show starting January - regardless of the fact that 8 more still need to be shot.

Look. I don't care what you guys do. As long as I find out what the hell all the cloning is all about and why Desmond can see the future, brother.

You'll never know each other

2007-11-18T11:21:00.000-08:00

Many people feel that the most important part of a couple's survival & fidelity relies on how well they know one another.

The trouble is, if you claim to know anyone besides yourself, you're not giving the other person chance to grow and breathe.

It's better to give them leeway rather than pigeon-hole them into a certainty that will continue to self-perpetuate if you don't let your loved ones free.

Freedom is key. Independence is of utmost importance. Please review this carefully.

Life is what happens to you when

2007-11-17T16:05:00.000-08:00

you're busy making other plans.

It's not just a quote from a beautiful song. It's something that should be paid attention to.

James "Burning" Madison

2007-11-10T13:19:00.000-08:00

A parody that has Hollywood talking.

A historical look into the U.S. presidency, sex in the White House, and global warming.

Jessica Simpson in Bryant Park

2007-11-05T19:53:00.000-08:00

Jessica Simpson & Bryant Park, two of my favorite things in life are now finally together. I was actually right in front of this display today but if I had known Jessica was coming by, I would have made it a point to stick around. Oh well.

I guess one celebrity sighting a week is enough.

Homemade Almond Milk

2007-11-04T10:21:00.000-08:00

It's the most delicious thing ever. It's available at Abrazo in New York City, between 1st and 2nd avenues and 7th street.

Please please please go try it, it will change your life.

Hanuman v. G.I. Joe

2007-10-28T12:00:00.000-07:00

So the folks over at a new Website called "Kridana" have decided to hawk Hindu deities to little children in form of comic books, stylized action figures, and well, I'm just not sure if it's kosher or not? But I do like the toys and the set of 2 is very affordable at only $29.95 or something along those lines.

Hanumanji is awesome and so is Rama. And with the comic books it opens up the epic story of the Ramayana to a whole new generation in a very fashionable and hip way.

Dumbledore

2007-10-20T11:17:00.000-07:00

As everyone already knows by now, Albus Dumbledore is gay. How does this affect any aspect of the beloved Harry Potter story? Well, it doesn't really, it only helps J.K. Rowling be hated more by her detractors and loved more by her fans.

Tolerance, above all, is amazingly powerful.

Smile! Jessica Simpson's Moving in!

2007-10-08T21:36:00.000-07:00

Jessica Simpson is moving to New York City. Our time has come.

Delicious chocolate cream cheese brownie with layers of crepes

2007-10-06T14:56:00.000-07:00

New York Film

2007-09-24T18:40:00.000-07:00

Such a great image. Thought I'd share. Those folks at New York Magazine sure know what they're doing, don't they?

ipso facto

2007-09-01T10:24:00.000-07:00

1:04 pm, Saturday, September 1st, 2007
East Village, 1st avenue and 3rd street

Man: I think I hate my job
Other man: (silent, acknowledging statement)
Man: I don't really like coffee that much but I drink so much of it at work
Other man: (silent)
Man: And I noticed that I don't drink as much coffee on the weekends. Sometimes I don't drink coffee at all on weekends.
Other man: (silent)
Man: So yeah it figures that I hate my job.

I was hoping he had said ipso facto. That would have been rad.

My wife is from South Carolina

2007-08-25T16:47:00.000-07:00

A long winter awaits you

2007-08-11T09:37:00.000-07:00

Those of you who don't know that by innate skill, I possess the power to see the weather. I predict a long winter, one filled with blizzards, ice storms, thunder, bitter cold, and mass frostbite.

In order to fully enjoy wearing a short-sleeved shirts while you can, I have decided to once more promote the Juicy Show Shirt (official shirt of the Juicy Show Podcast & Vincent Chase). It is now available online for a low price of $15 (Retail value: $25).

Wear the Change You want to See in the World

2007-01-24T08:41:00.000-08:00

Wear the Change you want to see in the world. Soon you will be able to wear the shirt. Soon it will be available at the Juicy Store.

Death of a Filmmaker

2007-01-20T17:35:00.000-08:00

He's not really dead - Cristi Puiu's movie The Death of Mr. Lazarescu just generated less than expected in the American market. At least he has his kitty to keep him company. . . and Clint Eastwood makes a film entirely in Japanese and it will be probably nominated for best film and not best foreign film.

There's a whole thing on it in today's NYTimes.

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Miss Simpson, Eat Something!

2006-12-11T06:26:00.000-08:00

Jessica Simpson is reportedly starving herself for her new movie. They're currently shooting in London somewhere and it's said that she's limiting her intake of food!

Maybe that's why the buxom Simpson is forgetting lines to songs at performances.

Mmmm Ms. Simpson, you drive us all crazy with care.

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Anorexia

2006-06-28T06:58:00.000-07:00

Jessica Simpson Loves What Rhymes With Shovel

2006-06-26T07:11:00.000-07:00

It's true, Simpson's new record that is coming out will replace song the song lyrics that appear below with the name of a fan (read more). You can go to the Website and select your name out of a list of about 500 and for unique names like the one held by yours truly; it takes a couple of weeks to get...I think I'm about to purchase my first Jessica Simpson album.

[film. music. art.]

George Costanza Voicemail

2006-06-23T06:10:00.000-07:00

We got to talking about great voicemails this morning and then I went and found a classic. Check it out.

[film. art. music//the truepictures update]

The Juicy Show Episode 5 (podcast)

2006-06-21T08:53:00.000-07:00

Episode 5 of the Juicy Show is now available for download. It is our 2nd radio play which features a tale of two lovers walking into the woods...and possibly never returning.

Download it today!

Comedy

2006-05-30T04:54:00.000-07:00

One Ring to Rule them All

2006-04-22T07:55:00.000-07:00

It seems Jessica Simpson is wearing her ex-hubby Nick (moved into a suburban household, worth less than Gallagher) Lachey's wedding ring around her neck again. Check out the photo!

In other non-Jessica Simpson related news; President Bush wrote on his entry LiveJournal, "I <3 Communists who can't speak English. It makes me feel smart." When last checked, his mood on LiveJournal was a smiley face with lipstick and batty eyelashes . . .

Quit staring. She's barely separated.

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Siberie m'etait contéee

2006-03-31T04:29:00.000-08:00

Siberie m'etait contéee is the title of Manu Chao's entirely French album. Similar to his other work, this album has a lot of catchy beats and is overall a pleasure to listen to. Probably the best album out since Damian Marley's Welcome to Jamrock.

So, if you have a chance to listen to it somehow, please do. It will make your life 200% better.

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Café con Sol

2006-03-22T09:42:00.000-08:00

The sun is out and I've just had the darkest mofoing cup of coffee in quite a while. My suggestion: forget the knife & the fist, fight with positivity.

What does this mean? Basically that everything is going to be just perfect from here on in for you.

As American as Sushi & Banana Daiquiris

2006-03-20T12:34:00.000-08:00

So, it's the world baseball classic - and America is long gone. The 2006 Basbeball classic put teams from various countries to compete against each other for world glory before the US MLB season started. Supposedly, some of the best America had to offer were represented on the American team, but obviously due to tonight's game of Cuba v. Japan, America wasn't good enough. And, what's more embarassing is that some of the countries known for their raw talent - DR, PR, & Venezuela - weren't even represented in the countries that we competed against.

This just goes to show you that we need to bring in the world to compete in an extended season. Then we'll actually have some good competition to watch! Not that we don't already with the rivalries and such, but imagine baseball going to the status soccer is currently at worldwide!

I hope to see Fidel Castro in San Diego repping for his Cuban boys. That and the World Series really needs to be renamed to the MLB Series.

Let Me Know

2006-03-12T14:08:00.000-08:00

Let me know what's on your minds. All at once, no need to raise your hand. Openly collecting thoughts, ideas, and nonsense.

Peace & Love.

Iranian Danish for breakfast

2006-02-07T11:29:00.000-08:00

One Danish journalist made a mistake. S/he drew some offensive cartoons regarding the person Muslims hold as a prophet; Muhammad. This was a terrible thing to have done and the Islamic community had 100% right to be angry, but they did not have the right to take this matter into international territory and make it a reason for causing more idiotic violence.

The Iranians attacked foreign embassies, destroyed cars, and tried to basically kill and destroy people because of a cartoon. The Muslim religion says that images of the prophet should not be generated and that is the reason why this violence started. I highly doubt the journalist, the idiot journalist, even knew of this rule. But whatever it was, the reaction was highly stupid and so was the initial piece.

So, further proof that the world we inhabit is full of dunderheads, what do the Iranians now do, but sponsor and support more hatred. Iranian journalists are sponsoring a cartoon drawing contest mocking the Holocaust. This is just so that peace can never have a chance.

Fucking morons, all of them.

The Last Picture Show (Video Post)

2006-02-06T20:30:00.000-08:00

Dailymotion blogged video
The Last Picture Show
Video sent by truepictures

Joe Simpson Chronicles

2006-01-28T12:20:00.000-08:00

The Joe Simpson Chronicles continue with the latest bout of the pimpdad on rampage. He has decided that his daughter Jessica should not be seen by the press dating anyone before Nick Lachey does it publicly. He feels - being the pimpdad master blaster that he is - that this will make the public even more drawn to the woman responsible for 85% of his wealth.

15% is for Ashlee - but the numbers reflect gross biases that I have against Ashlee. Considering she has sold massive amounts of copies of her latest album, I'm sure she's becoming quite a cash cow for PimpDad, as well.

All in all, it's nice to see PimpDad be in the news again. Maybe the next step will be making a reality show of his wife. All I know is that I want to make a reality show about Joe Simpson - the pimp and the man behind the plan.

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George W. Bush: Still a Prick

2006-01-24T06:30:00.000-08:00

The prick that is the president of the United States, George W. Bush has illustrated in the past several weeks that he will not change. Though Americans hate him more than they have ever, Bush continues to practice the core idiotic methods that won him the scorn of millions of people around the world.

Here's what the stubborn prick has done so far:

Defended spying on you and me (yes, particularly me since I bash him quite often on this site).
Demanded an up or down vote on Samuel Alito - the extreme conservative whose record would make any Middle Eastern Sultan blush.
Accepted donations and kickbacks from every Republican's best friend in D.C. Jack Abramoff
He is scheduled to make a State of the Union address that will please mainly his extremist conservative constituents.
And finally George W. Bush has been nominated for impeachment by several millions of Americans.

So, what's next? Maybe a trip to the ranch to gain daddy's admiration. Whatever the next step, one thing is clear, Bush will continue to be a prick and continue to drive America's future into the crapper until he leaves office.

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And The Winner Is

2006-01-16T12:58:00.000-08:00

Here are my wishes for winners from the following list. Note that I say wish, not prediction.

Indicates winner Click icon to view video

Cecil B. DeMille Award

Anthony Hopkins

Best Motion Picture - Drama

A History Of Violence
Benderspink Productions; New Line Cinema

Brokeback Mountain
Focus Features/River Road Entertainment;

The Constant Gardener
Potboiler Prods./Scion Films; Focus Features

Good Night, And Good Luck
Section Eight/2929 Entertainment/Participant Productions; Warner Independent Pictures

Match Point
A Jada Production; DreamWorks Pictures

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama

Maria Bello – A History Of Violence

Felicity Huffman – Transamerica

Gwyneth Paltrow – Proof

Charlize Theron – North Country

Ziyi Zhang – Memoirs Of A Geisha

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama

Russell Crowe – Cinderella Man

Philip Seymour Hoffman – Capote

Terrence Howard – Hustle & Flow

Heath Ledger – Brokeback Mountain

David Strathairn – Good Night, And Good Luck

Best Motion Picture - Musical Or Comedy

Mrs. Henderson Presents
Heyman Hoskins Productions; The Weinstein Company

Pride & Prejudice
Working Title Prods.; Focus Features/StudioCanal

The Producers
Brooksfilms; Universal Pictures/Columbia Pictures

The Squid And The Whale
American Empirical/Peter Newman-InterAL; Samuel Goldwyn Films/Sony Pictures Releasing International

Walk The Line
Fox 2000 Pictures/TreeLine Productions/Catfish Productions; Twentieth Century Fox

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

Judi Dench – Mrs. Henderson Presents

Keira Knightley – Pride & Prejudice

Laura Linney – The Squid And The Whale

Sarah Jessica Parker – The Family Stone

Reese Witherspoon – Walk The Line

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical Or Comedy

Pierce Brosnan – The Matador

Jeff Daniels – The Squid And The Whale

Johnny Depp – Charlie And The Chocolate Factory

Nathan Lane – The Producers

Cillian Murphy – Breakfast On Pluto

Joaquin Phoenix – Walk The Line

Best Performance by an Actress In A Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

Scarlett Johansson – Match Point

Shirley MacLaine – In Her Shoes

Frances McDormand – North Country

Rachel Weisz – The Constant Gardener

Michelle Williams – Brokeback Mountain

Best Performance by an Actor In A Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

George Clooney – Syriana

Matt Dillon – Crash

Will Ferrell – The Producers

Paul Giamatti – Cinderella Man

Bob Hoskins – Mrs. Henderson Presents

Best Foreign Language Film

Joyeux Noel (Merry Christmas)
France
Nord Quest Productions/Senator Film Productions/The Bureau Artemis Productions/Media Pro Pictures/TFI Films/Les Productions de la Gueville; Sony Pictures Classics

Kung Fu Hustle
China
Columbia Pictures Asia/Huayi Brothers/Taihe Film Investment Co. Ltd/Star Overseas; Sony Pictures Classics

Paradise Now
Palestine
Augustus Film/Lama Films/Razor Films/Lumen Films/Arte France Cinema/Hazazah Film; Warner Independent Pictures

Promise, The (Master Of The Crimson Armor)
China
Moonstone Entertainment

Tsotsi
South Africa
UK Film & TV Production Company PLC/Industrial Development Corporation of South Africa/National Film & Video Foundation of South Africa; Miramax Films

Best Director - Motion Picture

Woody Allen – Match Point

George Clooney – Good Night, And Good Luck

Peter Jackson – King Kong

Ang Lee – Brokeback Mountain

Fernando Meirelles – The Constant Gardener

Steven Spielberg – Munich

Best Screenplay - Motion Picture

Match Point
Written by Woody Allen

Good Night, And Good Luck
Written by George Clooney, Grant Heslov

Crash
Written by Paul Haggis, Bobby Moresco

Munich
Written by Tony Kushner, Eric Roth

Brokeback Mountain
Written by Larry McMurtry, Diana Ossana

Best Original Score - Motion Picture

Syriana
Composed by Alexandre Desplat

The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe
Composed by Harry Gregson-Williams

King Kong
Composed by James Newton Howard

Brokeback Mountain
Composed by Gustavo Santaolalla

Memoirs Of A Geisha
Composed by John Williams

Best Original Song - Motion Picture

"A Love That Will Never Grow Old" – Brokeback Mountain

"Christmas in Love" – Christmas In Love

"There's Nothing Like a Show on Broadway" – The Producers

"Travelin' Thru" – Transamerica

"Wunderkind" – The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe

Best Television Series - Drama

Commander In Chief
Touchstone Television; ABC

Grey's Anatomy
Touchstone Television; ABC

Lost
Touchstone Television; ABC

Prison Break
Original Film/Adelstein-Parouse Productions/Twentieth Century Fox Television; FOX

Rome
HBO Entertainment/BBC; HBO

Best Performance by an Actress In A Television Series - Drama

Patricia Arquette – Medium

Glenn Close – The Shield

Geena Davis – Commander In Chief

Kyra Sedgwick – The Closer

Polly Walker – Rome

Best Performance by an Actor In A Television Series - Drama

Patrick Dempsey – Grey's Anatomy

Matthew Fox – Lost

Hugh Laurie – House

Wentworth Miller – Prison Break

Kiefer Sutherland – 24

Best Television Series - Musical Or Comedy

Curb Your Enthusiasm

Desperate Housewives

Entourage

Everybody Hates Chris

My Name Is Earl

Weeds

Best Performance by an Actress In A Television Series - Musical Or Comedy

Marcia Cross – Desperate Housewives

Teri Hatcher – Desperate Housewives

Felicity Huffman – Desperate Housewives

Eva Longoria – Desperate Housewives

Mary-Louise Parker – Weeds

Best Performance by an Actor In A Television Series - Musical Or Comedy

Zach Braff – Scrubs

Steve Carell – The Office

Larry David – Curb Your Enthusiasm

Jason Lee – My Name Is Earl

Charlie Sheen – Two and a Half Men

Best Mini-Series Or Motion Picture Made for Television

Best Performance by an Actress In A Mini-series or Motion Picture Made for Television

Halle Berry – Their Eyes Were Watching God

Kelly MacDonald – The Girl In The Café

S. Epatha Merkerson – Lackawanna Blues

Cynthia Nixon – Warm Springs

Mira Sorvino – Human Trafficking

Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

Kenneth Branagh – Warm Springs

Ed Harris – Empire Falls

Bill Nighy – The Girl In The Café

Jonathan Rhys Meyers – Elvis

Donald Sutherland – Human Trafficking

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

Candice Bergen – Boston Legal

Camryn Manheim – Elvis

Sandra Oh – Grey's Anatomy

Elizabeth Perkins – Weeds

Joanne Woodward – Empire Falls

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

Naveen Andrews – Lost

Paul Newman – Empire Falls

Jeremy Piven – Entourage

Randy Quaid – Elvis

Donald Sutherland – Commander In Chief

The Juicy Show Podcast (Episode 2 - Audio)

2006-01-13T17:19:00.000-08:00

The Juicy Show Podcast: Episode 2 is now up

Mary Magdalene - Super Great Grandma or Biblical Prostitute?

2006-01-07T08:17:00.000-08:00

So, recently I started getting really interested in Mary Magdalene, the name just brings a certain whiff of darkness and holiness when uttered. So, I started doing the research for this name immediately and if my sources are correct, this is what I know:

Mary Magdalene was Jesus' wife and the couple together had offspring - YES!! You read right, Jesus' descendants are walking amongst us.

There is also a romantic twist in this research of mine and that is Leonardo Da Vinci who we just thought to be a scholar was actually heading up a secret society to protect the secret of Jesus' offspring from spreading to the rest of the world. Why? To protect the world from truly discovering that Christianity was based on a hoax.

I cannot reveal more information now because I have started writing a novel based on my information.

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National Smoothie Week

2006-01-04T13:00:00.000-08:00

National Smoothie Week is sponsored by what seems to be a Juice selling corporation. So, it's almost a hoax, but what a tasty hoax. And for those of us in the US and not in the UK, we can celebrate the smoothie without supporting the corporation it is being driven by.

National Smoothie Week will officially take place in June 19-25 of 2006. Weird stuff, but I couldn't stop reading about the true definition of a smoothie; juice is the extraction of a fruit, where as a smoothie is the complete blend of the whole fruit.

In a country where alcoholism prevails, I guess this can be seen as a positive.

Though I do hear that Puerto Rican Rum & Vodka gives all smoothies a much welcomed zing.

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Urban Pigeon in NYC

2005-12-31T06:46:00.000-08:00

Urban Pigeon in NYC,
originally uploaded by truepictures.

Pigeons in NYC have grown more sophisticated over the years and sometimes we find ourselves excusing their privacy.

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The A-List Reveals its Resolutions

2005-12-28T07:21:00.000-08:00

Being a friend to many of Hollywood's A-listers, I have gained their trust and had them reveal their New Year's resolutions while they were snogged on absinthe.

Tom Cruise - to love Katie Holmes harder

Katie Holmes - to deliver triplets without letting out a peep in compliance with Scientology rules - to show Tom Cruise that her love for him is harder than his for hers.

Angelina Jolie - to adopt 1 baby every month from a different third world country.

Brad Pitt - to attain new pout that will make him more popular amongst the younger ladies.

Jessica Simpson - to star as the pornstar who broke her and Nick Lachey's marriage in a made for Cinemax bonanza. Her manager/dad/pimp will cite this as her greatest accomplishment to date and the most cathartic one, as well.

Ashlee Simpson - to get a makeover so she will never again be recognized by the American public.

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Mel Gibson Gone Apocalypto

2005-12-23T15:25:00.000-08:00

The newest trailer for Mel Gibson's movie Apocalypto, which is going to be 100% in the native Mayan language is due out in theaters Summer of 2006. In the film we get a deep insight into something quite elusive and mysterious - Gibson's mental status.

The image has not been doctored. To view the picture in motion, check out the trailer and go about 3/4 the way to view the image below for yourself.

[Mel Gibson: Mayan for Certifiable]

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The Juicy Show (episode 1 - audio)

2005-12-17T09:55:00.000-08:00

The Juicy Show used to be a radio show that reigned the college airwaves of Geneseo, NY for 4 years. It is now available as a podcast. So download it to your iPods, iRivers, mp3 players and enjoy while you work out.

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Let's Meet for Coffee

2005-12-11T08:54:00.000-08:00

You've heard it a million times and been probably on both ends of the following statement:

"Hey - wanna get some coffee *enter frame of time here*?"

Personally, when I ask someone for coffee, I mean it. I am extending an invitation for the consumption of the caffeinated bean that is refined and the grounded, put into filters, and combined with hot water. This is coffee to me. Everything else you add on - the milk, sugar, and so forth is up to the individual person's taste.

Now, some other people, those who do not take coffee very seriously, will extend the same invitation but they are easygoing and fickle with what actually will happen at this planned meeting. They have wild ideas, ideas too ridiculous for a respectable blog to discuss. But alas, I must indulge you in this; the vilest of all betrayals.

Once a friend invited me for coffee and then instead of purchasing coffee, bought decaffeinated Sleepy Time tea. I was shocked, confused, and above all grossly disappointed.

You see folks, when you drink coffee with someone, it is more than just the coffee. It's what the caffeine in the coffee and the aroma streaming down your lips does - the instant alertness; the eagerness to engage in something meaningful and creative. That is what truly matters. Now Sleepy Time tea is fine when you have a cold, fever, or other sickly symptoms and you want something to comfort you or even assist you in falling asleep. But to do such a thing on a coffee date is nothing short of a sin.

So, now I urge you, reader, the next time you invite someone to coffee please for the love of all things addictive, buy a cup of joe and not a cup of decaffeinated sleep inducing neutralizer.

I thank you.

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Jingle Tunes

2005-12-10T16:42:00.000-08:00

Eva Seduces Ted - Combustible Edison
Ya Viene El Sol - Ozomatli
I Walk the Line - Johnny Cash
Spaceship - Kanye West feat. GLC & Consequence
We're gonna make it - Damian Marley
Still Lives Through - Little Brother
16, Maybe Less - Iron & Wine / Calexico
Between The Bars - Madeline Peyroux
The Skin Of My Yellow Country Teeth - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
Hung Up - Madonna
Kryptonite (I'm On It) - Big Boi feat. Killer Mike, Black Owned C-Bone, Rock D
Come on! Feel the Illinoise! - Sufjan Stevens
Tive Razao - Seu Jorge
Crooked Teeth - Deathcab for Cutie
Yegelle Tezeta - Mulatu Astaqé
Burn that Broken Bed - Iron & Wine / Calexico
Double Trouble - John Williams

A Jessica Simpson Christmas

2005-12-06T06:43:00.000-08:00

It's official, Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey have split up. The bubbly newlyweds are now on bitter ends of some kind of epic battle. Reports indicate that Lachey was having flings with some type of a porn star while Simpson was building her career.

The Daisy Duke wearing Simpson won some sort of award at VH1 last night, but who cares, she's single! Now all of you, yes you reader, will have a chance to win her heart in her brand new reality series: On the rebound!

Free Music
DJ Glass Animal is one of the most talented remix artists of our century. Many say his skills bypass that of Kid Capri & Dj Scribble. His latest remix, "College Girls!" has been burned onto holiday gift CDs of thousands of Brooklynites. Luckily we were able to get you access to the song, as well. [ free remix download ]

Good luck Nick, Hello Jessica.

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March of Morbidity

2005-11-25T16:37:00.000-08:00

Who the hell needs Thanksgiving Day parade with balloons? Not me, that's for damn sure. I have never approved of standing in below freezing temperatures to watch balloons and people march through city blocks. As if being pushed and nudged by every person in the crowd weren't enough - you have nitwits handling massive balloons in the middle of all this mess.

It seems that the news organizations in New York City have forgotten or Macy's has paid someone to keep their mouths shut. The last time there was an incident at the Thanksgiving Day Parade, a woman actually died. She lost her life. During a parade that has no reason to cause danger. Someone needs to step up to the plate and ensure that if the wind is higher than 10 mph, there should be no balloons present at the parade.

I don't care if your kid's disappointed that SpongeBob balloon didn't show up - at least we can rest assured that he will remain alive.

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What is the Meaning of Life?

2005-11-20T13:27:00.000-08:00

So, I've been really curious about the meaning of life. I've been studying various philosophies since I was a kid and though I have some idea of what happens after one croaks, I'd still like to know for certain from those who claim to be superhuman. So, I wrote a letter to RadioLab - a show on WNYC, Public Radio that covers topics like "Time" to milestones like "The Martians are Coming!" - requesting them to investigate the meaning of life. If you can answer the question yourself and are knowledgable about the after-life, please email me the answers.

Hi RadioLab,

Ever since that show on Sci-Fi in which the host spoke to supposedly "dead" people's spirits/souls/ghosts - I have been curious about the meaning of life and death. I would figure that if one gets the opportunity to speak to someone who has died, the immediate instinctual question to ask is "What is the meaning of life? . . . Who is the real God? Does one actually exist? Is it Jesus or is it Vishnu? What do you do when you're dead? What should I do in order to make sure that I'm not caught on a low-rated cable television show after my death?"

All joking aside, I always questioned the authenticity of the show on Sci-Fi and there are others who claim to have the same ability of speaking with dead people. But by the chance that it's true - that these folks actually spoke with the dead - I want to be prepared. I am seeking the meaning of life - and have questions about reincarantion and the karmic laws. Please, for the love of all humanity, do a show interrogating these people who claim to have connections with the dead and help us, the listeners of Radio Lab figure out the meaning of life.

Thank you.

[Radio Lab] [Crossing Over with John Edward]

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A Crop Circle of Mistrust

2005-11-14T07:01:00.000-08:00

Not since the crop circles has a scam been sired by the American farmer. US Government subsidies ruin entire countries' chances of competing in the world market forcing their economies into subsistence.

So, as a thank you, approximately 5% of the farming population of America is screwing the American taxpayer out of $9 million each year. [Read]

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Only Idiots Vote

2005-11-06T05:39:00.000-08:00

Regina Spektor's beautiful syncopatic singing style and perverse lyrics woke me up this morning feeling good. The tune's name was Lacrimosa if you are musicheads out there.

Then I decided that voting is for fools. Why did I decide such a thing? Well, it's because everytime I think about how I voted for John Kerry and not George W. Bush - and Bush won - even though he did NOT win the election.

As a NYTimes article correctly points out

It is true that the outcome of that election came down to a handful of voters; but their names were Kennedy, O'Connor, Rehnquist, Scalia and Thomas. And it was only the votes they cast while wearing their robes that mattered, not the ones they may have cast in their home precincts.

Many Republicans, after the Harriet Miers debacle, began doubting what they had done. Many voters this year decided "Oops, I should have voted for Kerry and not Bush. Shit man, I should have voted for anyone BUT Bush. I should have penned in the name of my reliable and sweet grandmother for the office."

The reason for this regret is simple, Americans love being the Monday morning quarterback and never act the right way when under the gun. What does that make them? Idiots. Hence, Only Idiots Vote. I voted too, but for the right guy, so obviously I am not an idiot, no matter how frivolous my pull of the lever is.

How George W. Bush has destroyed America.

The economy. Millions of working Americans pay $30+ with one visit to the gas station. Exxon Mobil reports record quarterly earnings.

Oil Profits
Exxon Mobil, the world's largest publicly traded oil company, said Oct. 27 that third-quarter profit jumped 75 percent to an oil industry record of $9.92 billion. Net income rose to $1.58 a share, compared with $5.68 billion, or 88 cents, a year earlier, the Irving, Texas-based company said. Revenue climbed 32 percent, topping $100 billion for the first time. Source: Bloomberg.com, Nov 3rd

We are still in Iraq. What started out as a mission to find Weapons of Mass Destruction has now turned into high casualty rates for American troops.

The Supreme Court is on its way to being stacked with uber conservatives with John Roberts serving as Chief Justice and now Samuel Alito's nomination really pushing the true justice under the law to more like justice according to the church and Dubya.

Last but not least, Dubya lied. He has gone back on his word of promising to fire anyone in his administration who would have leaked secretive information.

Dick Cheney's main man Scooter Libby is on trial. Cheney is becoming in the eyes of many Americans the man who will snatch Richard Nixon's title of tricky dick away from him.

It's Sunday, go listen to some Miles Davis and try to forget that you live in a country run by the church you forgot to attend this morning to watch football.

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Jessica Simpson's Shrinking

2005-11-02T05:57:00.000-08:00

Our beloved young blonde beauty admitted to the world, through Teen People today, on this most auspicious of days (the Indian New Year and also the birthday of your humble blogger) that she's been in therapy for the last 8 months. She claims the number 1 reason for her visits to the shrink were the rumors started by tabloids and yellow journalists about her split with husband Nick Lachey.

Taking personal offense to Jessica's inability to solve her problems by going on talk shows and high jumping plush velvet couches, Tom Cruise has vowed to abstain from looking the mental midget Ms. Simpson directly in the eyes. Ms. Simpson says "I would be a therapist if I weren't an entertainer."

That's Hollywood folks.

In Bush country, Republicans are realizing that George W. Bush is an idiot. Next they'll realize that spending billions while cutting billions from taxes is actually bad for the economy! I'm glad the GOP is catching up.

//That's the world, and this is my life\[powered by the Truepictures Update]

Got Milk? got Controversy!

2005-10-24T07:46:00.000-07:00

The MLB has come out strongly against the new Got Milk? ads that refers directly to the media-driven steroid scandal.

The unimportant and wasteful anti-steroids campaign designed by the George W. Bush entourage to keep the media coverage off Iraq and on baseball bashing has inspired a meaningful and fun ad by the Got Milk? people.

[Vitamin D clouds MLB's tract]

The ad [click to download or save]scandalizes the substance that's enhancing the performance of one of the team's players: Milk.

It's a great ad and the MLB needs to loosen up.

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Jessica & Ashlee's big breaks

2005-10-09T08:20:00.000-07:00

The now blonde sisters have something else in common besides their locks.

Ashlee, famous for her lip-synching on SNL and then using acid reflux as an excuse, came back to the show that started the downward spiral for her last night. And boy, did she suck. Lip synching or not, this blonde wannabe Jessica sucked it up by singing a song she wrote after her last performance on SNL. It was not melodic, not entertaining, and simply garbage.

Meanwhile, sister Jessica is said to be on her own break - from husband Nick. I mean if you think about it, it would make sense that they break up. After all newlyweds have difficulty getting past that initial stage of excitement of being married. And "Jessica Simpson: A Single Life" would make an excellent reality show.

[The Truepictures Update the cherry, hot fudge, and whipped cream on the ice cream that is your day.]

$2.25

2005-09-23T17:40:00.000-07:00

Price hikes in gasoline have been going up like crazy. With hurricane Rita, they can go well over $3. But must we shell out more cash for everything now? I mean if I'm walking down the streets of Manhattan after riding the very efficient subway, why do I have to be ripped off still? Inflation has gotten out of control. I mean we're reaching stages that we never thought would exist. Stages that we saw predicted boldly in Back to the Future 2.

Pizza slices used to be $1.25 in the early 90s. That was the price you could expect to pay for a slice. But now, you walk down the streets of Manhattan and it is rare to find anything below $1.75.

Frigging $2.25 for a small slice that will leave you hungry. There used to be deals for $2.50 you could get two slices and a cup of soda. That would leave you satisfied until dinner-time.

Goddamn you Alan Greenspan. Stop looking so pensive and make my pizza affordable.

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Damian Marley Welcomes You to Jamrock

2005-09-14T04:18:00.000-07:00

Delving deep into hip hop while maintaining his reggae roots, Damian Marley is an artist in his own right. Even if he didn't have his infamous last name, Damian's album "Welcome to Jamrock" would have become a big hit overnight.

Tracks like "For the Babies" use voice enhancement techniques most closely associated with artists like Britney Spears, beats that you would hear on a R&B or hip hop album, with a touch of the flute. The message-driven track speaks about mothers that strip to provide for their babies. Similar tracks make "Welcome to Jamrock" a very message driven album.

Marley doesn't use the voice enhancing tracks in all of the tracks, sometimes he pours his heart out through his timbre, and at times sounding very much like his father. There are some of the most catchy chorus lines throughout the album that will not leave your head.

I don't usually write music reviews, but I feel that Welcome to Jamrock is the best album to come out this year. Though some tracks are hurt because of some unpleasant beats, overall, the album flows very smoothly. If Damian Marley doesn't get you to shout "Jah will be waitin' for ya" while you sip on Blue Mountain cappuccinos, you will never catch the reggae fever.

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Music & Coffee V. Starbucks & Racism

2005-09-13T06:31:00.000-07:00

So I've been put in a dilemma since about 3 months ago. During the mornings my routine has been completely altered. I usually start out by making a cup of coffee at home and then leaving for work or I'll go to the local store and buy a cup and then leave.

It was my instinct not to ever go to Starbucks because it's a privately held company that takes in all the profits for itself and does not allow small businesses to flourish. Many would argue that they do a ton of good for the world, but if small businesses were able to grow and compete fairly, they would do the same amount of good and have much more of a positive impact on the local economy.

But, there has been a little problem recently. The local coffee shop that I get my latte from does not necessarily like my business. In fact they cringe every time I walk into their all-Italian establishment. And there's this air and grimaces of racism that I cannot take, so recently I have been forced to support Starbucks where the service is friendly and the racism - non-existent.

So, thanks to a bunch of racist Italians on Long Island, I've been going to Starbucks and mainly just trying to make the coffee myself.

I thought I'd just share this story with those who think racism in our current society is non-existent. It's far from the truth.

Let the Music Play
On a lighter note, music is a very important aspect to many people's lives. I wake up listening to newsradio every morning. Since they loop "All Things Considered" on NPR by the time I'm ready for my drive to work, I've already heard the day's major stories and I'm ready for music. But, the problem is, now every single radio station loves having morning shows; talk shows. Most of the talk is senseless after you've heard well-produced, in-depth world and national news. I don't know how to start changing this but when a bunch of annoying Long Islanders start rambling about nonsense and how the police are always right - it gets a bit annoying. I won't mention again that when radio stations on Long Island such as WPLJ do play music, they, for some reason will never play a song recorded by a black artist. For those of you in NYC, you can listen for 2 weeks and will know that I am not lying when I write this.

That's it, just a few things that I needed to get off my chest.

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Gas Guzzlers Sold As Hybrids

2005-09-09T13:30:00.000-07:00

I'll be the first to admit it, I am not a car person, but what I will admit to is that I am economic. I like to save money, it's no secret and I make it known. Lately, GM and other American automakers have been trumpeting the horn of hybrid technology - changing the SUVs into the newer format to save more miles. But, how many more miles, and is the hype really all that it's jazzed up to be?

Not one bit. S.U.Vs are going to go from 14 miles per gallon to 20 mpg and that's highway.

Toyota and Honda are far superior in their mileage and technologies. Though Toyota's Prius does the trick, the Honda Insight, a coupe, gives by far the most mileage out of any other commercially sold hybrid to date.

*EPA mileage estimates: 61 mpg city/66 mpg highway. Mileage figures are shown for comparison purposes only. Actual mileage may vary. Honda Insight pictured left.

Chevy HHR with its ugly green ad on Yahoo boasts a measly 30 mpg highway and 22 mpg on streets.

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An Idea of Pain caused by the Hurricane

2005-09-04T10:36:00.000-07:00

The president of Jefferson Parish, Aaron Broussard [pictured left], was on Meet the Press on Sunday morning. He recounted a prepared speech about how there were not enough people to help and in which he begged the federal government to hold less press conferences and please just help.

Later on he recounted a story of a family that had been affected by the hurricane and it is something I thought everyone should learn about when assessing the devastation caused by the storm.

MR. BROUSSARD: ...that have worked 24/7. They're burned out, the doctors, the nurses. And I want to give you one last story and I'll shut up and let you tell me whatever you want to tell me. The guy who runs this building I'm in, emergency management, he's responsible for everything. His mother was trapped in St. Bernard nursing home and every day she called him and said, "Are you coming, son? Is somebody coming?" And he said, "Yeah, Mama, somebody's coming to get you. Somebody's coming to get you on Tuesday. Somebody's coming to get you on Wednesday. Somebody's coming to get you on Thursday. Somebody's coming to get you on Friday." And she drowned Friday night. She drowned Friday night.

You can view the entire transcript of Meet the Press from September 4, 2005. There are ways to give help even while staying at your homes besides monetary donations. Help needs to be given. So, please do. [Help Now]

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September Begins With Bad Poetry

2005-09-01T05:59:00.000-07:00

In addition to the bad poetry that you will be reading this month, be sure to check out short films by Jeff Greenspan. His short Nightlight features talent that at one point or another has worked on Upright Citizen's Brigade, Late Night with Conan O'Brien and The Daily Show.

A New Beginning for a Broken Man

TRAPPED and FRUSTRATED inside of a box.

Help me escape,
Drill me a window
Can you at least grab my hand?
Could you give me a push in the right direction - but make sure that it's not a cliff?

Just forget it. I'm going to implode, wail, and panic.

I'll break what you have made and
build a box with windows.

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Fern to Freida - The Names of Hurricanes

2005-08-30T04:16:00.000-07:00

I've found it interesting that we have a new name that rings in the public's ears few times each summer in the US. Names like Andrew, Arlene, and now Katrina are synonymous with destruction, chaos, and winds reaching sometimes over 100 mph.

I think the WMO who is responsible for the naming of these hurricanes is an emotionally unstable organization. I mean they use the names of people to describe the uncontrollable beast of nature.

For Atlantic hurricanes, there is actually one list for each of six years. In other words, one list is repeated every seventh year. The only time that there is a change is if a storm is so deadly or costly that the future use of its name on a different storm would be inappropriate for obvious reasons of sensitivity. If that occurs, then at an annual meeting by the committee (called primarily to discuss many other issues) the offending name is stricken from the list and another name is selected to replace it.

Sensitivity will always be up. But wouldn't it just be easier for a family to claim that "hey, my house, business, and everything I own was destroyed by a hurricane" rather than giving a name through which the pain was caused. I mean, look, a perfectly nice name for a woman like Katrina, will probably now be not used for several years and we'll be stuck with names like Jennifer and Melissa. Although, I think those were previous hurricane names, as well.

[The Hurricane from the Gulf]

Leave it to the WMO to give the victims a name to blame. Do you think Katrina can walk into her office in New Orleans after all the damage has been done and not be scorned at by her peers? Of course not. We, as humans and Americans need a scapegoat and the WMO gladly provides us with thousands as they use these names yearly.

[powered by the truepictures machine]

Sources:

National Weather Service

WMO

The Problem with Yes Men

2005-08-22T19:11:00.000-07:00

Definition Yes Men: Yes Men are people (men and women) who are parts of organizations or entourages following a leader. The leader could be as powerful as president George W. Bush or someone as insignificant as the owner of your local bodega. What happens in a situation where someone decides to crowd themselves with people who love them? They lose sight of reality and they lose the capability of churning out original ideas.

P. Diddy is a perfect example of a person who has successfully surrounded himself by Yes Men and Women. Donald Trump is another. Both are pretty successful in their own right and yet, they both are idiots. How is this possible?

I was examining what each of them do. They both have one goal in mind and that is the gathering of capital. Dollars, real estate, gold, and any other type of property imaginable. What is the point of this? Well, there is a certain thrill in making money that is akin to a good game of punching your most hated enemy in the jaw. And also, there's fame, glitter, and "love."

Now these guys have been around for a while and they have learned how to make more money from the money they already have. They have tons of ideas from which to make money and usually only a few of them work while most of them go to the cans. But, the thing is, all the bad ideas receive just as much praise and support as the good ideas. They receive a great deal of press, support from their friends, and their Yes Men & Women will march up and down the street with bullhorns procaliming their everlasting loyalties, in hope that one day they can inherit a part of the empire.

Now, what kinds of problems does this create? Well, look at everything Donald Trump & Puff Daddy have churned out. Apprentice 3, Domino's, 2 horrible albums, and one brand new song using the Godfather theme in a hackneyed hip hop drum beat format. Now, Funk Master Flex is a DJ in New York City, with some influence. On Thursday night, Puff Daddy visited the Hot 97 studios and started wylin' out.

What this resulted in was a heightened sense of reality. Funk Master Flex who is already out of it and has someone else handle the real DJing while he goes and tries to sell his cars at the Auto Show was hypnotized by Puffy's marketing magic. And no doubt in my mind that Puffy handed him a copy of his latest CD to play on the air by being present and being "real" to his urban audience.

In reality, he had just handed to Funk Master Regurgitating Reflex the most atrocious, insulting, and horrible piece of music to ever hit the airwaves. I don't even know the name of the song - after hearing it on the radio - I switched the station and prayed to all things holy that I would never ever have to hear that dumb trash ever again.

Now if it weren't for the Yes Men and Women who told Puffy that the CD was worth playing and plugging, it may have not made it to the airwaves and then I would have not had to write this.

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It's Dippy. Not Diddy.

2005-08-17T12:10:00.000-07:00

Dippy, Sean Combs, Wannabe Thug, Wannabe Fashion Designer, Wannabe Artist, Puff the Cous Cous Daddy has officially changed his name for the second time, in a public display of his narcissim. Does anyone even listen to this guy's music anymore? Since ripping off Sting and monopolizing on Notorious B.I.G's death, the only feat the no-talent Dipster has accomplished is not falling off his segway while driving it indoors.

[Dippy with sunglasses. Sources claim that he has all of them custom built with powerful reflective abilities so he can see himself even when he is talking to other people.]

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Pretty Persuasion

2005-08-09T06:21:00.000-07:00

Quite possibly the raciest, most controversial film since "KIDS", Pretty Persuasion crosses boundaries that I thought were still being waited on for at least another 2 decades or so. For the full review, visit Truepictures Reviews.

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Crestfallen

2005-08-04T05:43:00.000-07:00

I'll admit that more than many others, I have a soft-spot for fictional characters. When they have been developed well enough they seem to almost co-exist with me when I'm not reading about them. Such is the case in the world of Harry Potter.

Between books, I don't feel as if I'm missing things out, I feel as though the characters are continuing their lives in a parallel universe somewhere - and we will read about their adventures when JK Rowling will be able to bring the stories to Scholastic publishing house and share them with the world.

After finishing the Half-Blood Prince, I am completely crestfallen. The book has put me through a lot of emotions before, but none as strong as the one I feel sitting here today.

It's almost unbelievable but J.K. Rowling has succeded in explaining the social structure to children. We've always seen the elements of good and evil, but in this book, more than any other, the "grey" area is revealed. As are concepts of love, fatal attraction, the word "slut", and the alcoholic tendencies of 16 year old wizards & witches. Damn good book.

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Japanese Androids Just Wanna Have Fun

2005-07-28T20:35:00.000-07:00

A group of professors at the Osaka University in Japan has made reality of Hollywood's much well-thought out fiction. A fully functional - with smiling, sitting, and even breathing capabilities - human-looking "female" android called Repliee Q1 is now here.

What's the next step we will take? Professor Hiroshi Ishiguro said that the group of scientists, immediately after creating the female android have taken a keen interest in manipulating lace & silk.

[Barbie's Nightmare]

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Monsoony Catfights

2005-07-28T06:19:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, in Mumbai, India, there was more than 40 inches of rain - highest on record - that left the city in a flooded mess and killed hundreds. Buses, cars, trucks, trains, people, everything came to a halt.

[Monsooned out]

Pop syncher - err - singer - Ashlee Simpson is back! That's right - after a "successful North American" tour, the little wannabe diva has started making headlines again. Recently saying she confronted Avril Lavigne about the comments that Simpson did not deserve to be on SNL if she could not sing.

But, wait, that's not all. When Simpson needs attention - she knows how to get it. Recent reports say that she's battling Lindsay Lohan to win the heart of Millionaire TV Producer Mitch Mortaza. Since both Simpson and Lohan lack what we listeners of music like to call harmony, it's almost too perfect that they're battling each other for the top spot in trashy pop heaven.

[Cacophonous Catfight]

"How to Quit: A Truepictures Mockumentary" has now been downloaded by over 5,000 people worldwide. This short made with no sound equipment and no lighting equipment has caught on like the Dancing Baby. Be sure to get a peek.

[Hilariously Amateur]

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The Kenyans are Running . . . Away!

2005-07-20T06:36:00.000-07:00

It seems that the lack of patriotism has been propagated from the ignored, more sensible half of the United States population to the poorest continent in the world. Kenyan runners, known for their bittersweet luck and amazing speed win gold medals but usually cannot even afford running shoes when they start training for world competition.

Now, they're running away. Running away from the country that provided them with little food, little money, and little chance of making anything out of themselves.

Where are they going? Mostly to the Middle East and replacing their traditional African names with longer and sometimes more complicated to pronounce Arabic names. And what do they gain? Food, shoes, and a bit of prosperity.

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Meet the real Harry Potter

2005-07-14T18:56:00.000-07:00

It's a well known fact that Harry Potter is a fictional character that emerged from author J.K. Rowling's mind. But, I am here to disprove this theory. Recently, I stumbled upon an interesting conversation which led to the revelation of the real-life Harry Potter.

Within a circle of Indians in New York City, very similar to the character portrayed by Parvati Patil in the Rowling novels, there lurks a man whose name is Mr. Harry Potter. Apparently, it's not his real name, but his close friends have begun to call him this. They even refer to him as Mr. Harry Potter in their cute little Indian accents when speaking directly to the man's wife.

He possesses no similarities to the character in the novels and thinks broomsticks are only good to sweep with. But, as we promised, you have to meet him, so here's a nice shot below. Enjoy!

[Mr. Harry Potter from NYC]

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Why is Ice Cube so Fresh?

2005-07-13T06:22:00.000-07:00

Why? Why do I respect him more than any other artist out there? Let's do a brief overview of his career.

[Freshest Cube of Ice]

He started out rapping creating some of the most memorable lyrics with N.W.A and as an early hip hop artist on his own. He starred in Boyz N' The Hood, which started his acting career off on a very high note. He made some errors here and there with silly roles, but overall, he is an excellent actor with an impressive goddamned filmography. He was so confident in his skills that he actually penned the sequel to the hit movie Friday.

And now, most recently, he turned what could have been a box office sleeper in "Are we there yet?" into an extremely successful box-office comedy hit.

He has conquered so many mediums and has remained true to his roots. That and the lyrics to Today Was a Good Day which I was bumping to earlier today in my car will give you an idea of why Ice Cube is so damn fresh.

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2012 or Bust

2005-07-06T05:14:00.000-07:00

Thank God Hilary Clinton, Michael Bloomberg, Mohammed Ali, and all of our other last-minute efforts to bring the Olympics to NYC in 2012 failed. I'm not the only one who feels this way.

At the so-called party for the Olympics bid in Rockefeller Center, journalists made up a larger number than actual supporters. There are a few reasons why we did not win the bid; one of which was a lack of enthusiasm from New Yorkers.

These politicians need to learn that New Yorkers are nice people, but they're also very possessive people - they do not want an added burden on top of the city's already highly dense population. We need some breathing room, we cannot be overburdened by their ways and do not welcome the Olympics.

On top of that, they were considering building a new stadium and adding on traffic, human traffic, car traffic, subway traffic. Sure the store-owners will inflate prices so that all New Yorkers will have to dish out an additional amount of money for the same old luxuries that we're used to now, bread, milk, and gas.

Can non-business owners, students, hell even athletes afford Olympics in NYC? Probably not. But something tells me that we're not off the hook just yet - 2016 is the next date and politicians are hungry.

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Black gets Tracked

2005-06-29T06:10:00.000-07:00

So, I was getting a cup of coffee this morning when I went back to the door to check on my car since the window was left open. In that 30 seconds, a customer who probably thought I had left the premises conversed with the owner - "this never used to be a black neighborhood. Now it's becoming more of a black neighborhood."

The thing is, I'm not black, but hearing the conversation, it could just be that the customer who was mouthing away was plain ignorant and could not differentiate between cultures.

But, it's not just her who dislikes the blacks. The NJ Police Department was just recently told to stop practicing racial profiling, which remains until today, a common & encouraged practice.

But now children can follow the black too. That's right! Technology, taking into account our culture, has decided to become racist, as well. Obviously I'm joking, but these new mini-cars are designed to follow dark lines on all smooth surfaces. So kids draw with a pencil on the floor and the cars will follow the line.

[Don't Wear Black Unless you want to get Tracked]

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Ban Baby Ban

2005-06-23T06:27:00.000-07:00

Americans have a love for the ocean. This is obvious if you have ever been to the beach during the summer. But, for some reason, American politicians, along with this love for the water, have an aversion towards fire. I mean why can't fire & water co-exist?

The word fire cannot be uttered inside of a movie theater due to some hijinks played by some young tykes. Just today, the big news is the ban on burning the American flag.

Senator Arlen Specter and some other zealous patriot have joined forces to urge a ban on flag-burning in the Senate. The measure has already passed in the House.

[David Copperfield of Flag Burning]

But, the thing is that if you are a citizen of the United States (non-citizens will burn the American Flag for centuries to come) and you're burning a flag, you're probably doing one of 3 things.

Making a statement against the dictatorial aspects of the U.S. Government
You are wearing a shirt that has the American flag on it and you've somehow managed to catch on fire.
You're at a kickass frat party

And by doing the above mentioned 3 things, you are doing nothing wrong. So, why should the flag burning be banned? I mean it makes a killer visual piece to wrap up the nightly news.

But Senators, if you're reading, and you would like to continue with the ban, what would the punishment for burning the flag be? Would it equate to the same punishment that one gets for J-walking? Or would it be marked down as treason? I think the punishment should be 2-hours-of community service. And that's my two cents.

The Bush administration is taking the aversion of fire to a new level; the denial of warmth. In an upcoming summit, the U.S. president is prepared to deny any occurrence of global warming on a mass scale. Well, at least he's keeping up with his word on destroying the environment by proposing further oil drilling around the world.

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Out with the Old, In with the Skinny

2005-06-22T06:11:00.000-07:00

The Simpson sisters, favorite sisters of the Rhymes with Shovel site, have not been making headlines. The movie Dukes of Hazzard as Daisy Duke is sure to raise some newsworthy events of the flaky sisters, but until then, we have found the perfect replacement.

First shedding off Jared the Subway guy pounds and now throwing tantrums like her dad throws punches, Lindsay Lohan has become the main target of affection in the media. At the premiere of the movie which is receiving a lukewarm welcome, "Herbie: Fully Loaded", Lohan exclaimed "I was upset when I didn't hear my song ("First") during the race scene, where I originally thought it would be," Lohan said while signing autographs. "I was like, 'Whoaaa,' because nobody stays to hear the song in the closing credits."

[Lohan a la Diva]

It looks like Cruise & Holmes have started a dwindling Domino effect to destroy any respect Hollywood once demanded.

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80s DeeJays Gather to Celebrate!

2005-06-14T06:04:00.000-07:00

Celebrate good times, come on! These words are familiar to you only because of the song they're sprung from. Several party dee-jays, at birthdays, bar-mitzvahs, wedding anniversaries, and other events will fill up the rented venues with cheesy music from the past.

The 80s being an especially fruitful decade of great sing-along tunes, many times DeeJays will specialize in only spinning the music of Blondie, Paula Abdul, A-ha, Bangles, and last but not least, Michael Jackson.

Thriller, Beat it, Smooth Criminal, Billie Jean are all "must-plays" at 80s clubs and events where alcohol induced dancing takes place. So, with the not-guilty verdict of Michael Jackson's child-abuse trial, 80s deejays can relax. They do not have to feel any discomfort spinning his hits, now that he has been redeemed by the law. And you do not have to feel dirty while you're dancing hard and doing the moonwalk ... at the next family gathering.

Sponsored, Inspired, & Powered by the Truepictures Machine.

Caption of the Year

2005-06-10T11:29:00.000-07:00

"I had a change of heart recently. I realized that if I'm gonna go young, I might as well go all the friggin' way!" - Tom Cruise
Photo link
[caption by Michael Mahoney]

Selling God-Certified Security

2005-06-10T05:51:00.000-07:00

Orem, UT is a somewhat industry-centric city in the middle of the heartland. Many astronomy enthusiasts travel great miles to Utah during the summers for a glimpse at the North Star. Though that would bring in a handful of people to the state, tourism is not the main focus of Orem's economy. It is the alarm monitoring industry.

A very mormon state, Utah boasts a population that is very dedicated to its church. If you are familiar with the rules of being a Mormon, you know that it involves a lot of missionary work. Some compare the missionary work as a spiritual boot-camp where you get reinvigorated with the doctrines of the Mormon religion.

Now, it turns out that Mormon children, like children attending school everywhere find a bit of pride and take interest in summer positions. What has turned out to be an extreme advantage to the Alarm Monitoring industry are these home-from-school summer kids that can easily make $3-5K in one summer by going door-to-door selling alarms.

Children are used in aggressive interpersonal sales because of their ability to be easily molded. And with the Mormon missionary training and to have the experience of selling God, there is no better salesperson alive. Besides Ice cream and a handful of barbecue manufacturing companies, alarm monitoring companies make their living during the summer in Utah.

Programming Block

2005-06-07T06:47:00.000-07:00

It seems president Bush will continue his relentless pursuit of Social Security Destruction just as Mayor Bloomberg will continue whining about NYC not building a stadium and thus reducing the chances for the Olympics to come to the Big Apple in 2012. Honestly, there is not enough room, and Bloomberg should get with the concept of democracy. Whining is not the alternative to persuasion.

Honestly though, I'm angry that for the past two weeks instead of being able to watch Meet the Press, NBC has been covering tennis. And, Conan hasn't had a new episode in 2 weeks.
Luckily, however, we have something to watch, Web sites, and a new one designed by the dude you see below, is sure to provide us with some form of intelligent, thought-provoking relaxation that we need. Or you can just visit David Byrne's impressive online presence.

Hit the Road

2005-06-03T06:23:00.000-07:00

Jack & Bobby
Jack Bauer
Jack (from LOST)
Jack & Jill
Jack & The Beanstalk

According to the American Heritage Dictionary, the meaning of the name Jack is as follows:

NOUN:

often Jack Informal A man; a fellow.
1. One who does odd or heavy jobs; a laborer.
2. One who works in a specified manual trade. Often used in combination: a lumberjack; a steeplejack.
3. Jack A sailor; a tar.

Why is it so popular with television series? Isn't a character on Will & Grace named Jack? It's the best name for a character to have in a film or television show. It doesn't sound fake like Steve or generic like John. It doesn't have a mystery attached to it - it's just plain and simple.

Jack Kennedy, Jackie Onassis, Jack in the Box.

I just started to notice the name a lot and thought I'd make a silly point about it. Anyway, Jack is a universally loved name.

The only thing remotely wrong with the name is that it doesn't rhyme with shovel.

The Republicans are once again on a campaign for re-election, they're talking 2008. The stupidest thing I heard was earlier this morning on NPR, when a Republican pundit spewed the following nonsense in response to how he thought the GOP would win the African American vote.

"If people do not like the way their educational system is currently running, we will change that and put an emphasis on improving education in order to win the black vote."

Currently, the Republicans are making the laws regarding how the education system is run. A commendable statement as it goes to self-help. I hope they continue with this line of thinking.

Settling for a Compromise

2005-05-28T20:01:00.000-07:00

Compromise

Verb

S: (v) compromise (make a compromise; arrive at a compromise) "nobody will get everything he wants; we all must compromise"
S: (v) compromise (settle by concession)
S: (v) compromise (expose or make liable to danger, suspicion, or disrepute) "The nuclear secrets of the state were compromised by the spy"

Personally, I have never been able to get a grasp on the word or its meaning or how it actually applies in reality. The example of going to a restaurant or picking a type of food for lunch come to mind. Now, you want to go have some delicious Mexican food, while your partners in crime are stuck on having some type of a pasta.

There is no way that some marinara sauce and boiled wheat is going to fulfill your need for a carefully rolled flour tortilla, packed with beans & melted cheddar cheese. So what is going to happen? Either you go ahead and say "Ahh, you know what I'll eat Mexican food tomorrow, let's go have Italian," or they say to you, "It's okay, we can have Mexican today."

Either way you look at it, someone lost. Someone's appetite was not completely attended to, and that is not right.

Nothing about the U.S. Congress here. Just some food for thought. Besides, the NY Times took care of that article.

You ever Computed ... on WEED? (Audio)

2005-05-14T08:12:00.000-07:00

Apparently, the personal computer was a result of the counter-culture of the 1960's.

Fire in a Can, Bombs in the East

2005-05-11T19:12:00.000-07:00

Wolfgang Puck not only has a name that's conducive to great dirty limericks, but he's also responsible for the newest trend in millions of lives. As people concentrate more on the bottom line and try to accomplish daily necessities like breakfast and food while in transit, ways have to be created to facilitate their zippy lives.

[Rhymes with ... Puck]

The invention is a self-heating container. It contains coffee. It heats itself to a chuggable 145 degrees Fahrenheit in 6-8 minutes. As people get lazier, technology has to invent ways in which food cooks itself. George Jetson couldn't have painted a better picture.

[Self-heating thingamajik]

America has a tendency, very much like the layout of this inverted pyramid style blog entry, to worry about nonsensical things. First it was obesity, then it was color coordination, then Iraq, then Martha Stewart trial, then the Michael Jackson trial and as late in the game as today, Paula Abdul is making the headlines with her love affair.

So what happened today? Well besides the latest junk car that was Pimped, North Korea, our friendly neighbor in the East, announced that it had quite possibly begun the process of generating more plutonium than is necessary to make 8,000 roundtrips back to the future.

[If Doc Brown mass produces his time machine, the plutonium could be put to good use]

Osama bin Laden is still at large. I bet we'll try to find him once he does something terrible to hurt our patriotism and pride.

Music Saved My Life

2005-05-06T08:24:00.000-07:00

While waiting for a bus, the Q43, I had no more strength, I had no desire to stay awake, and I did not want to spend the ridiculous $11 to be taken home in a cab. Especially not after spending a ridiculous $75 on a monthly MetroCard that's supposed to save me money and supposed to save the environment by moving New Yorkers to and from their desired locations in a timely fashion.

What I did have was my iPod and it saved me. While others constantly arched their necks beyond the sidewalk to catch a glimpse of the glorious site of the bus coming towards us, I turned up the volume and listened to music for the 50 minutes it took for a bus to arrive. It saved me a lot of grief and a lot of annoyance and kept me in a good mood through the troubling times.

[Waiting for one of these suckers is not the most enjoyable experiences one can partake in]

Here is a beautiful playlist that should keep you company in horrible situations.

Stagflation is here (audio)

2005-05-03T16:01:00.000-07:00

An alarming, clear, and very opinionated piece was aired by Marketplace today. [listen] The economy is dwindling, the interest rates will be higher, stagflation is here.

For more entertaining and thoughtful yet unimportant news, check out some film reviews. The one for Steve Zissou has garnered the public's appreciation.

[Chillax with the Zissou crew]

This Blog is Bananas

2005-04-30T06:18:00.000-07:00

B-A-N-A-N-A-S

In case you were wondering how to spell the word. Gwen Stefani has reached a new freakin' low, which of course has put her on the top of the pop charts. Putting her soul, passion, and art to a liquid, sure to infect your ears beat with stupid lyrics. "Hollaback Girl" is almost as ridiculous as George W. Bush's address to the country on Thursday night. But not as stupid.

Dubya is back, folks, and this time he's being even a bigger of a jerk, if that was possible. Saying things like "we should keep on the offensive" to questions of why America's men and women are still dying in Iraq is one of the weaker moments of his presidency.

BUSH: To reduce our dependence on foreign sources of energy, we must take four key steps.

First, we must better use technology to become better conservers of energy.

And secondly, we must find innovative and environmentally sensitive ways to make the most of our existing energy resources, including oil, natural gas, coal and safe, clean nuclear power.

Third, we must develop promising new sources of energy, such as hydrogen, ethanol or bio-diesel.

Fourth, we must help growing energy consumers overseas, like China and India, apply new technologies to use energy more efficiently and reduce global demand of fossil fuels.
Source:http://www.wisinfo.com/postcrescent/news/archive/local_20835606.shtml

[Bush is b-a-n-a-n-a-s]

Later, Bush suggests further drilling and scouring for energy sources in our own backyard. Oh right, let's destroy the environment, use natural gases to create new types of pollution when clean-air alternates, which would cost nothing to the consumer & also help preserve what's left of the dwindling environment.

At least he's mingling with the enemy. Or as David Letterman clearly illustrates, sleeping with them.

This blog is bananas, make sure you HOLLA BACK, girl and boy.

The Air Car

2005-04-22T21:20:00.000-07:00

[Evaporation instead of Pollution? Not with Exxon deciding Earth's fate]

A Frenchman has done something amazing. He did it over 7 years ago. Yet we still think that the aircar is only a myth. That's right, the car runs on air. The official site of the "Cat car" along with a couple of articles in European newspapers are the only remnants of this fantasy vehicle.

Here's the rundown, it runs on pressurized oxygen, reaches speeds up to 70 mph and its only emission is water. What's the harm to the environment? None. What's the profit to Oil Companies? None. What are the chances of Americans ever seeing this vehicle being used on the streets with president George Walker Prince of Oil Bush at the helm of the free world? None.

But, even if George W. Bush was not president, it would be certainly not allowed to enter any mass markets soon because if oil demands fall, then the world's economic systems would indefinitely stumble.

Change social security? Change the goddamned energy grid to better fit the needs of the future. On this Earth Day, let's take time out to recognize that the American media has completely ignored anything environmentally significant except for NPR.

Jay Leno is no longer funny

2005-04-21T19:38:00.000-07:00

So, it seems that Jay Leno has lost all of his good jokes. His monologue now consists of stating facts from the news as they are, without adding sarcasm, wit, or comedy, and then he laughs. But he is the only one that laughs. The audience does not laugh. His band leader Kevin Eubanks does not laugh. Stuttering John who is now John Melendez does not laugh.

No one is laughing at Jay Leno's jokes. I thank him for leaving soon so that Conan can undo the horrible state of the Tonight Show.

This entry was made in reference to the worst Tonight Show episode to air in the history of its existence. The worst show aired on April 20, 2005 with lead guest Ashton Kutcher. It's not surprising. Kutcher mentioned something about PUNKING the world about the Pope being dead and bringing out the Pope and the Pope would say "hey look, i'm alive, i punk'd all of you."

The Fabulous Life of New York's Unemployed

2005-04-16T07:14:00.000-07:00

Every day, I wake up and make myself a cup of coffee . . . alright 2 and a half cups of coffee and sit down in front of my computer.

Then, I sign onto my various job hunting Web sites and begin a 4-hour-long process of sending resumes and preparing individual cover letters.

After I feel I have sufficiently overworked the words excellent, varied, and candidacy, I retire to a DVD that I have sitting waiting to be reviewed, or if it's my lucky day, a friend is available to watch a film out at the movies.

Of course, this is all done between checking out movie reviews, seeing how the box office has done over the weekend, looking at movie trailers, wishing Transit was picked up by another film festival and chatting with a troop of employed yet lax friends who love to IM.

Well, that's my day being unemployed. But, it turns out many recent college grads who have not located that precious niche are leading another lifestyle altogether. If you don't have an NYT subscription, just get one, it's free. The article talks about rich kids who sip $5 lemonades at Cipriani's & retired bankers, traders, etc. who have just given up on trying to be on the competitive edge and finally use their money for relaxation purposes.

It's Gandhi ...

2005-04-12T18:47:00.000-07:00

Not Ghandi like the new Sierra-Mist commercial and the promo on Comedy Central shows. It's one of the few mistakes that has been repeated in the mainstream media way too much these days.

The man who singlehandedly led the non-violent revolution against England in India was Mahatma Gandhi. He was Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s reason for having non-violent protests.

Please remember that it is Gandhi.

Expressink

2005-04-08T20:23:00.000-07:00

Expressink

Bush Supports Delays

2005-04-07T13:39:00.000-07:00

George W. Bush has expressed his support for Tom DeLay, House Majority Leader and latest Republican to be exposed for his questionable financial tactics.

Let's Remember Dick
Some may remember Dick Cheney's old company Halliburton receiving a no-contest contract with the government to help rebuild war-torn Iraq. You may also remember that George W. Bush started that war in Iraq using a lie, saying he was after Saddam's weapons of mass-destruction. He also presented this information as fact to the American people and the Congress. No weapons were discovered. Halliburton's sister company was just paid a huge chunk of cash from the government. And now, the Bush spinsters are back.

What did Tommy do?
Mr. DeLay's political committee has paid out approximately $500,000 to his wife and daughter in the past few years. In addition, DeLay's travels abroad may have been paid by your tax dollars. Is this something to get angry about? Yeah. Definitely.

Texas George the W, is not the only redneck supporting DeLay. The Power Republicans (coming soon on MTV2) show unwavering support for the soft money guru, DeLay.

"I don't see any wavering of the support for the leader. I think a lot of members think he's taking arrows for all of us," said Rep. Roy Blunt, third-ranking among GOP leaders.

Fuh-laming Arrows
The arrows. What arrows? The arrows of the vast liberal conspiracy, duh. The arrows of just another frivolous lawsuit designed to empower attorneys and the judiciary branch, which in case you didn't know, is way out of control. The judiciary that currently is being criticized is the one that ordered Terry Schiavo's tube removed. It is not the Supreme Court that got Bush elected president of the United States in the first place.

Thou Shall Steal When the Spoils Benefit Thy Kin (DeLay 13:2)
So, it is possible that DeLay has been scheming to make his family richer, using tax dollars for international trips and who knows what else. But, remember do as I say, not as I do. That's what is most important.

DeLay charged that Schiavo died "because our legal system did not protect the people who need protection most, and that will change." He said, "The time will come for the men responsible for this to answer for their behavior." He ranted about an "arrogant, unaccountable, out-of-control judiciary." DeLay and other conservative politicians are joining with the lawyer for Schiavo's parents to stage a conference on "Confronting the Judicial War on Faith."

Separation of Church & State? F*%$ that!"
Yeah so that clause about the separation of church and state. The need for checks and balances. We don't really need that. We just need a President who is man enough to destroy innocent lives because logic has escaped him. We can interfere in individuals' lives as long as it doesn't concern providing them with much needed healthcare, reforming education, or providing them with a stable economy.

But, if the problem is family oriented and does not apply to anything of substance, like steroid usage, the life of a loved one or an unborn fetus, then it's the Power Republicans to the rescue.

F*&% Separation of Church & State, let's start the United Churches of America and disregard every other practiced religion in our country. This is the only way to be.

The Swoosh of Hope

2005-04-01T09:51:00.000-08:00

Recently, I was in my car, driving slowly and feeling down because bloggers don't have a steady income. Suddenly, a brilliant confident male voice boomed on the radio. I could hear the strength of the voice even with my shabby static-ridden speakers.

And I paraphrase

What's the worst thing not to have? Hope. If you don't have hope, you have nothing. What if someone told you that no matter how hard you worked, how hard you strived to achieve something, that you're going to end up failing. That's the end of hope.

People will tell you that you're going to lose. No matter how hard you play, how much you sweat, the outcome will make no difference. The loss of hope is the worst feeling.

But luckily, there's the new Nike shoe that will make your basketball goals successful. This new shoe will give you hope.

[Swoosh of Hope]

For a moment there, the announcer had caught me off-guard. He had caught me in a state which I was all too familiar with. The no-hope clause was sticky listening. But the punchline seemed like it was spoofing itself.

Much like the new pharmaceutical commercials where the actors actually speak the side effects, you may have heard the one

So-and-So medication MAY CAUSE minor Sexual dysfunctions

The swoosh does not offer hope it offers a ridiculous place to invest your money to. The medication offers confusion and a dependent state, not a cure.

Transit Premiere Photos

2005-03-29T18:48:00.000-08:00

The Transit Premiere went very successfully, with only standing room available for many of the audience members who came in towards the end. Here are now, a couple of photos from that event.

[The Star Smiles, Caley Oakes-Bisson (right) and friend]

[The Crowd Waits]

[The Schmooze]

[The Booze]

[El Director]

Transit is currently traveling the independent film festival circuit. If you attended the premiere and have comments to share, please feel free to post away.

Cartist is born, Technology is gone

2005-03-28T07:37:00.000-08:00

The artist known as Bansky has become known for sneaking into prominent museums worldwide and hanging up his own art.

[Bansky at the Metropolitan Museum of Art]

Cellular phones, as we all know and as I have mentioned before are the most annoying pieces of technology to be introduced to man since VHS rewinders. But, now cartists* have gone and turned the cell phone into their own little art gallery. Companies have emerged that distribute widely, just as those annoying ringtones, street art, graffiti and other works for people to view on their phones.

[Street Art on the Go]

With Bansky, cartists, and bloggers, art is on the rise in American culture, while technology seems to have taken a step back from innovation. The latest news banks on China, India, and other labor-cheap, work-heavy countries becoming technological super-powers leaving behind the U.S. nerd in dire need of a new boost.

But, wait, Bansky is also English and not at all American, he's just using the spaces here to promote his art. So, technology and art have finally merged. And cartists are the winners.

[Technology & Art; Together At last]

[*Cartist - coined March 28, 2005 by Rhymes With Shovel - definition: A capitalist artist. An artist who cares more about getting paid than doing art for the sake of self-expression or creating symbols.]

A Lavish Playlist

2005-03-24T08:20:00.000-08:00

From time to time, it becomes necessary - almost essential - to invigorate yourself through the help of relaxation and music. Rhymes with Shovel presents you with music that is sure to engage your ears, lighten your spirits, and make you feel like you're worth a million bucks.

Song names are on the left, Artist names appear on the right.

[Lavish Playlist]

I am also privileged to present two songs from the originally composed "Transit" soundtrack available for download, in pink. All the tracks were composed completely on the computer by Michael Mahoney of Kalpana.

Murder for "Air"

2005-03-19T10:08:00.000-08:00

It is said New Yorkers are some of the toughest people, and it is said that after the 9/11 tragedy, New Yorkers grew closer together than farther apart. We handled it very well. But, it seems as though, in light of recent events, nothing has changed.

Homelessness is up, unemployment rates are as high as they have ever been, and Mayor Bloomberg is actually whining about building a football stadium.

[Air Jordans: Worth your life and more.]

But perhaps the Mayor is onto something. Perhaps he sees how die-hard the fans of sports teams and sports paraphernalia are ... they have been killing delivery men for shoes.

Prosecutors said Bryant and another teen, Nayquan Miller, ordered food to Miller's apartment in the Rochdale housing development on Feb. 13, 2004 because they wanted money to buy Air Jordan sneakers.

This pathetic display of idiocy shows that our education system needs to be reformed, and not by dollars but by serious action. After School activities need to be manadatory and people need to learn that shoes, no matter how pretty or expensive at retailers are not worth murdering for.

[Statistics verified through NYC Department of Homeless Services]
[Volunteers Hit the Streets to find Homeless New Yorkers]

Is it getting hot on Earth ... or is it just me? (audio)

2005-03-17T05:43:00.000-08:00

Many of us all around the country have felt the wave of uncertain weather patterns, especially this winter. It snows on the day after a historical high. Though, we know, discussing weather patterns is a taboo at cocktail parties and when you're trying to win that special someone's heart, it's just the kind of thing meant for Congress.

The Republicans have carelessly attacked the environment and will now allow drilling to be done in Alaska. Is that not terrible for the environment? How can the Republicans parade around on television claiming that they're looking out for the future generations of America when they're snatching away the ecosystem?

They are drilling in a Wild Life Preserve. Obviously they only care to preserve self-interest and all their PR is wasted.

[Rorschach Test, Normal people see beauty in nature, Republicans see oil]

Listen to the audio for the entire story. You will need Windows Media Player to play the clip.

Like Drilling Fingernails on a Chalkboard

2005-03-16T08:32:00.000-08:00

It is hard to imagine that something worse than fingernails on a chalkboard exists. But, I have recently found it. If you watch television and do not have the luxury of a TiVo machine, you have experienced this excruciating pain along with me. It's the ads to download stuff onto your cellular phones.

It was annoying enough having to deal with people having their phones super-glued to their ears while out in public, but now those satanic innovators of programs have done it again. You can now download a number of super-annoying ringtones and grotesquely stereotypical and offensive wallpapers by dialing a few digits on your phone.

So, not only do we have to put up with phones ringing at inappropriate times while out in public, we have to suffer the most baseless, crass, and vulgar sounds coming out of these phones, as well. I have no idea how to prevent these ads from popping up on my TV set, but now they've also made it onto my free e-mail account lists in the form of ads.

[42nd Sign of the end of human civility]

All the President's News Reporters

2005-03-14T06:39:00.000-08:00

It started with a big sign reading, "Mission Accomplished" to alert the audience whose favorite show is the News that President George W. Bush and his team were practicing some extremely sophisticated marketing and PR strategies.

[The Mission: Propaganda]

After this incident, Americans and the media began to become more aware of the problem that the Bush administration similar to FOX News, was in fact, spinning the facts so that they could be tailor-made for the administration's benefits.

Their key now is "pre-packaged" news. A well-designed, well produced, news segment about any number of topics, all created by the Federal Government. This is a tactic mostly used by corporations to promote their products in a subtle way. The Bush administration uses it to promote their policies, may they be war or privatizing Social Security.

According to an exclusive report by journalists David Barstow & Robin Klein, not only does the Bush administration bombard television stations with these messages, but the reporters and anchors on television, willfully air the packages as original products, without any indication to the viewer that we are, in fact, being subjected to propaganda.

the Government Accountability Office, an investigative arm of Congress that studies the federal government and its expenditures, has held that government-made news segments may constitute improper "covert propaganda" even if their origin is made clear to the television stations

If you pay attention to media-news, then you know that the Federal government is practicing an age-old formula of payola or plugola. This is a practice that was long banned by the Federal government when record companies paid radio deejays to promote their material. But President Bush's administration is practicing them today.

[Paid $240K to spew propaganda]

Armstrong Williams, a conservative columnist promoted the administration's chief education initiative, the No Child Left Behind Act, without disclosing $240,000 in payments from the Education Department.

It's not only George W. Bush who is using these tactics, it is his main man in California, Ahnold is now in trouble for using the same types of tactics. The issue is not with the videos themselves, which clearly are labeled "by the government." The main issue lies within the news reporters and anchors failing to mention that the video was produced by the government, and many times failing to report that they were being paid extra to send this message.

But, the use of these PR videos is not unilateral. It is a widespread problem that needs to be addressed on both blue and red. But, it's strikingly clear that most of the journalists are not liberal or conservative, they're simply greedy or unethical.

The constant and seeminlgy endless game of bashing & slandering journalists is helping the Bush administration. They discredit the number one connection we have to the White House and we are left feeling betrayed. So, now we have 2 people to blame instead of just one.

What is more shocking and annoying is that the Bush administration's promoted side-topics which this month are Steroid usage, make it on the weekly news roundtables.

Meanwhile, U.S. forces are probably prepared to attack Iran at any moment, causing more loss of lives and security. Thanks to all the President's news reporters.

I love Ray Guns!

2005-03-12T16:28:00.000-08:00

. . . and knicnacks, coffee tables, coffee mugs, posters, goo, and other things. Those were the items sold at a Craigslist promoted Tim Burton garage sale.

[The Stepford Wife]

The items were put up for sale by Burton's ex-girlfriend Lisa Marie after a 10-year-relationship came to a halt. The crowd, however, was not pleased with the items, many of them saying that they were not representative of the brilliant director's acquired dark taste.

[Insert Apple-a-Day joke here]

In other news, Bloggers are now being ordered to reveal their sources. Apple won the case against 3 bloggers who had revealed the company's trade secrets. That's one for the corporation and 0 for the daredevil bloggers.

["Cool!"]

The short film Transit is getting way more publicity than anticipated. It has now been screened by a bunch of Hollywood so-and-sos such as Jeff Goldblum, who has called the short film, "cool!" The film is now going to be screened at Rififi / Cinema Classics on March 25 at 7 pm.

Half the Blood

2005-03-09T21:29:00.000-08:00

Amidst the acrobats of the Ringling Brothers that are coming to NYC in a few weeks, posterboard carrying tourists, and anorexic Al Roker's vague and unhelpful weather forecast, Katie Couric revealed to the world "Today" the new cover of the Harry Potter book, "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince."

So, in keeping with the tradition of recycling cutting edge news, I thought I'd include the cover below.

[Breaking News]

Sadly Dan Rather is gone, Jay Leno made some distasteful jokes regarding Mr. Rather. Let's hope the same happens when it is revealed that Jay Leno has no spine ...

[All links are now available in the sidebar]